What motivates people? Some think it is a heavy-handed approach that includes intimidation and belittlement, with justa little fear, while others know that providing effective communication and positive encouragement and cooperativebehaviour actually works best; most fall somewhere in between. So many of us are really lacking positive reinforcement,that sincere compliment, a feeling of being appreciated and part of a team. When positive factors are in play, it makesfor a better environment, when it is lacking, everyone suffers.
Years ago I added a daily quote of the day to a community website. It wasn’t a random choice. I researched andselected quotes and accompanying photos. The public appreciated it and we felt it was a welcomed addition to our site.
Lately on social media, I have seen a trend to share quotes with positive messages, or funny sayings and noticed how
often friends post and share them. It is something that reaches the core of us. Sometimes when you are down, or
starting to lose hope, it could be the pick-me-up that makes the difference.
I didn’t realize something was missing, until it was slowly integrated into my life on a daily basis. A positive
word, encouragement, praise and genuine interest. Those little things can make a difference. It may sound a little cheesy, but it is true. Yes, you can get the outcome you desire by making someone feel bad or yelling or showing sterneyes; hurling insults instead of offering support and encouragement. But at what price? I know when someone challenges me and basically thinks I can’t do something, I will work very hard to prove I can. Afterwards though, I am notexactly feeling warm fuzzy feelings for the one who made me feel that way.
“I’ve learned that people will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forgethow you made them feel.” Maya Angelou
Yes, feelings make the difference . It’s the battle of head or heart. I recently attended a seminar where the speaker asked us to stand up, close our eyes and point to ourselves. After a few moments he asked us to open our eyes. Gazing across the room, I could see those that pointed to their head, and those like me, who pointed to their hearts. He told us, that is where we live, and it is true.
We are bombarded with negative messages. We hear unhappy news, or constant complaining, it can be very disheartening A friend of mine recently made some big changes in her life. She looked tired and drained, she was stressed to the point of tears and felt she was undervalued and unappreciated and it was affecting all aspects of her life. Lately somepositive encouragement, some praise and some inspiration transformed her, and now she is like a new person. She isglowing with possibilities, sincerely happy and slowly releasing the toxic feelings of negativity. When we aresurrounded by negative, it oozes from every pore, it erodes our smile, it stifles creativity and it breaks us down.
Communication breakdown severs more ties than anything. With the Christmas festivities are coming soon, it is even moreimportant to really reflect on how you treat others. Are you taking out your frustrations on them? Are you offering words of encouragement? Have you given a sincere compliment? Do you smile and show you care? Presents are nice to give and receive, but what about sharing your presence. Actually taking time to connect and be there for family, friends, coworkers and community.
There is beauty in all of us. We all have so much more to offer than is often visible. Sometimes it takes a littlecoaxing, occasionally it takes a powerful event or action to see the potential. As a mom, I always try to encourage my son to do his best and listen to what he has to say. I recently heard comments that we make a good team and we do. That doesn’t mean we don’t argue sometimes but I try to foster honest discussions. This is a high stress time for himwith this being his last year of high school and his book debut. I am being supportive and boosting his confidence. It is a little surreal, but he’s taking it in stride.
We all have different roles and sometimes we have to vent, sometimes we are the sounding board for others and no matterhow busy our lives get, we have to take time for others. Don’t wait until someone walks out the door and wonder why? Maybe all they want is for you to have a sincereconversation. Find out what their goals, and dreams are? Maybe they are not that far off from your own.
